Guest Blog by Hanny Evers: How do you react in a panic situation with your baby or child? And how can you influence that?

Are you prone to fear when it comes to your children? Or do you remain very relaxed when your child falls? Personally, I'm not that fearful. I'm often the mother who first checks if her child is crying before picking him up after a fall. It's happened to me more than once that three other parents were around my child to help, while I did nothing. You should have seen the looks! Is this bad?

Confidence
It's not that I do nothing when my child falls. I carefully observe my child's reaction. Is he crying? How is he moving? Can he get up on his own? If all goes well, why should I panic and run to my child?

A child gains much more confidence in their own body if the environment doesn't panic. My children have used this confidence to learn to fall and get back up. I am convinced that this ultimately prevents bigger accidents.

The more motor skills a child has, the easier it is for them to help themselves.

I've definitely had some close calls, but we all have. For instance, my one-year-old son fell backward, two meters down from a climbing frame. Fortunately, he landed flat in the sand and got up laughing. And I remember a situation where I was heavily pregnant sitting on a bench. My two-year-old son climbed over the climbing frame and fell down. His trained reflexes saved him; he grabbed the bar on the way down and managed to hang on. You should have seen his proud face.

Assessing the situation
Children cannot assess dangers well. We need to help them with this. It doesn't help to just react fearfully and forbid them from climbing trees, for example. Teach them how to do this safely, make agreements about how far they can go, and teach them to fall and get back up. Children will do it anyway, so you might as well teach them how to do it.

An accident can happen in a small corner. Children fall, children get sick, you can't prevent this. No matter how careful you are. It's up to you as a parent to assess when to solve it yourself or when to go to the doctor.

Your intuition can help you with this.

Maternal instinct
Generally, you can trust your maternal instinct. However, it's important to distinguish between reacting out offearand reacting intuitively.

Fear can lead to overreaction, like picking up a child every time they have a minor fall. This doesn't help a child; it makes them fearful too.

You learn to react intuitively to the situation by getting to know your feelings. Reflect on what you feel. Fear? Where does this fear come from? Does your child fall, and are you mainly afraid of bleeding? Try to let go of this so your child doesn't develop the same fears.

Does your child have a fever or a cold, and you have a bad feeling about it? Or has he fallen hard on his head and seems dizzy? Then it's not just fear, but also the feeling that something more might be going on. This is a reason to take action, time to go to the doctor.

Get to know your feelings
Do you find it difficult to assess when you're reacting out of fear or when there seems to be more going on? Fortunately, you can practice this. The better yourecognize your feelingsand know the cause of your feelings, the easier it is to make the right decision. Whether or not to go to the doctor.

Try the followingexerciseonce:

• make sure you are alone and won't be disturbed
• sit or lie down quietly and close your eyes
• breathe in calmly through your nose and out through your mouth, relax
• now focus on your feelings, are you happy, angry, or sad.
• go back to the events of the day/week, what makes you feel this way.
• breathe in calmly through your nose and out through your mouth and open your eyes

If you do this more often, you'll notice it becomes easier. At first, it takes time, which you don't always have. Later, you'll notice that you recognize in the moment whether you need to take action or let go of your feelings.

Knowledge of first aid helps you with this. If you know how to clean a wound after a fall, the chance of the wound becoming infected is smaller. The more you know about burns, the better you can assess whether you can treat it yourself or if it's better to see a doctor.

Making mistakes is allowed
You can't know everything, and amisjudgmentis easily made. Fortunately, often without serious consequences. In case of doubt, I would always consult a doctor. Especially with small children, they would rather see you come one time too many than one time too few.

With my youngest, I was at the emergency room a day after delivery, on the midwife's advice. His temperature remained high. The solution was ultimately: give him a bit more to drink. Not something you would normally go to the emergency room for.

I also once called the doctor in a panic. My 8-month-old son had a fever and was lying cramped in bed. It looked so scary; I was afraid of febrile seizures. I could go in immediately. Once there, he was almost his cheerful self again, just a bit clingy. Fortunately!

I did feel abit guiltyfor coming for nothing. Yet, they assured me that I should just call again next time.

When in doubt, always call. Even if you doubt a doctor's advice. You as a mother (or father) know your child best. You see your child all day. A doctor might see your child for 10 minutes and has to make a diagnosis. Even though you probably don't have medical training, you can use your intuition to judge whether it's something harmless or if there's more going on.

This blog is written by Hanny from Best9Moms. Mother of two boys (2 and 5 years old), PE teacher, and pregnancy and mom coach. Want to know more about me? Follow me onFacebookorInstagram
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